C for Comparing, L for Losing

Maybe it won't be forever.

But at this age and in this place being what and who I am, my sense of self-worth and most of my confidence can only come from how I look and how physically attractive others view me.

The steps that I have to take are obvious, depressing, and painful, but doable. It's boiling chicken breast for dinner instead of ordering from Pizza Hut. It's looking back fondly on the chicken breast I had the night before when I have to skip dinner tonight.
It's downing a mug of lemon water for breakfast and feeling my tongue chafe against squeaky teeth, firmly telling myself that it's a supermodel breakfast full of antioxidants.
It's chanting fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck like a mantra when trying to complete a set of ab exercises, or swatting at mosquitoes and wiping off sweat simultaneously while jogging in the hot sun. It's being a crazed consumer for the most popular beauty fads, so I can look like the best version of myself.

Then there are the unchangeable truths.

No matter how you look at it, her face is more beautiful.
She's so tiny, her feet are probably smaller than his hands, she has a waist his hands could span.
Her bone structure is on fleek.
Her lips are full and she has a perfect cupid's bow.

I hate being intimidated by girls, and yet I am.

Those insta-models, those girls who delight the eyes simply by existing. They're two years younger, four years younger, sometimes six years younger, god forbid they be eight years younger. I don't envy their lives or their possessions. I have no interest in their lifestyles of glamour. It's their pure physical perfection I wish for.

Dadaepo Bonfire

F for Frisbee, S for sunset

P for pine cones, R for regret

T for tents, N for noodles

V for videos, M for mosquitoes

Evan's Birthday and Dadaepo Bonfire

Evan's actual birthday is this Wednesday, but we celebrated early in Korean style.

Round 1: Chicken at 오꾸닭
Round 2: Drinks and tapas at 나마시따, a Japanese fusion place near Prix and Art-Box
Round 3: Beer pong, foosball, birthday cake, and rounds of shots at Groove
Round 4: Dancing and drinks at Yaman
Round 5: (Evan and Rimando went home in a taxi at this point, Hods and I put them in a taxi and told the driver to go to Toesung Station) More chicken and drinks at Chir Chir
Round 6: Almost went to Grid at 4 am, but thankfully we decided to head home

Happy early birthday bro!

This pic pretty much summarizes our warped sense of humour.

Reunion Take #1

So Alex and I attempted to plan a surprise Hoda attack on our friends, but not everyone wanted to hang out on a Tuesday night.

Some folks are loyal though.

Operation Turtle went smoothly at Stage 1, when Hods surprised Hosu and Han at ElBurrito by covering their eyes from behind and bellowing "GUESS WHO???" in a manly voice.

Stage 2 was trickier with people arriving one by one at SsaengTong. Eddie was adorable, covering his face and gasping before grabbing Hods in a bear hug and spinning her around. Rose took a few more seconds, winding her headphones back into a loop before she screamed WTF in true Rose fashion. And Michaelangelo reacted by not reacting at all. He brought two fangirls with him though, so he might have been trying to look cool. Linero was hilarious too. He went in to hug Mikey and saw Hoda's face creeping from behind for a three-way hug.

We chilled at PKNU's school festival, which was pretty bland, but the company was good. It would have felt more like family if certain people came, and others did not. Some people had the decency to disappear, but not all.

The siblings.

And then on the subway back, I fucked up and sent photos in the festival chat, which Kris and Dustin are in.

Then the next day, Michael fucked up and posted a pic on his FB and Insta.

Then Julez kind of caught on, but she got confused because of Evan, whom Hoda told, and Rimando, whom Hods may or may not have told. 

It's a long story.

Julez was mollified. Now I'm the one who's confused about whether it's a surprise anymore. 

I'm out.

Welcome Home

This weekend was quite enjoyable.
It was titillating being the girl representative at basketball despite my mediocre skills.
A brought his twin M and his friend from Taiwan C for a weekend in Busan, and we met up on Saturday night at KSU for a fun night out.

Drinks and snacks at 쌩동 led to 치맥 at Chir Chir Chicken. We were joined by Sammy, Lauren, Em, Rose, and Nic beforewe went to chill at a cheap plastic table and chairs outside the CU at the busiest intersection of KSU. The group split into Team TP and Team Noraebang, and we went to a super-ghetto-2000\-apiece karaoke place that showed softcore porn videos for every song selection.

Good times, good vibes.

Sunday night I had dinner with my friends again for their last night in Busan. We stayed near their hostel in PNU, and went to the ironically named Gentle Pig, for a barbeque dinner of pork belly, neck meat, and pig skin. The skin was gross -  it was gelatinous, bristly, and popped like a motherpucker, jumping around the skillet like some morbid creature out for revenge.

We had kimchi and pumpkin pajeon, and strawberry and mango makgeolli, along with a few bottles of apple mango soju for round 2, and reminisced about our lives back in Vancouver. I'm glad we have rendezvous in Taipei and Vancouver to look forward to. I hate goodbyes that are resolutely permanent.

And as A walked me back to the station, I was starting to regret talking so easily with him, and telling him so much about 74. Especially when he added 74 on Facebook and regularly stalks him. But when I had no T-money card or change to get home, and he shook his head in disbelief, and called me a poor-ass-b**** as he got my ticket, I knew we were close enough to talk about everything.

I was in a good mood on the way back home, mostly because the queen of Persia was coming back.

Last night, Alex and I went to meet her at the airport, and even after a day of travelling, drinking too much wine and spilling it all over her shirt, and wearing no makeup, that girl still manages to look amazing stepping off the plane. Ridiculously beautiful and confident is what you are, Hods.

Today is Tuesday, May.17th, 2016. I want to remember the date, because we're gonna have a good time tonight.

Grade 4 Connect 4, Grade 5 Zombie Game

My fourth-graders were on their speaking period Lesson 4: Don't Run!. After some textbook work, they played Connect 4 in partners. The odd students out partnered up with either Mrs. Yoon or me, and I'm ashamed to say, my competitive streak came out. I really should have let them win, but I was teaching them an important life lesson: some grown-ups never grow up.

My fifth-graders had a wrap-up class for Lesson 4 today, so after check-up we played the Zombie Game, which is basically Shake Murderer infused with English, with 2 detectives and 5 murderers racing to finish their task first.

It's less amazing then it sounds, but the kids were really into it. They got all sweaty from the drama of the game.

 

Suan Sports Day 2016

Fluffy white clouds pranced across the azure sky, and a cool breeze wafted through bright sunshine. It was the perfect weather for Sports Day.

The students ran relays, rode tricycles, danced, and cheered. Some parents participated in skipping, soccer, and tug-of-war games as well. I was busy stamping first-place runners and cheering for all the students. Of course some cried when they came in third or fourth place, but I kind of just nudged them into the correct lineup and moved on.

We just had bibimbap at lunchtime, and all the kids went home to start their Children's Day long weekend. I'm going to pack for Osaka tonight, and clean the apartment. Tomorrow I'll probably go for a run in the morning before heading to the airport around 2. 

Goals for Osaka Trip:

Remember to pack everything

Don't waste money on useless things

Take nice pictures

AYCE Samgyeopsal, Baseball Game

We found an all-you-can-eat samgyeopsal place in Dongnae after basketball on Friday, and ate our weight in pork belly for 9,900 won. It was good, but samgyeopsal isn't something I like to eat a lot of. The guys really liked it though; I have a feeling we're returning to the restaurant very soon.

Saturday, April.30th, 2016

For the second time in my whole life, I went to another baseball game at Sajik Stadium: Lotte Giants v.s NC Dinos. This time around we were much wiser, and bought good seats closer to where the action was. They cost 12,000 won, whereas the unassigned seats where the players look like specks are 7,000 won.

I met up with D, E, and M at Sports Complex and we went to Homeplus beforehand to get some food for the game. Some food actually turned out to be four plates of roast chicken, chips, a baguette, a bottle of olive oil and a bottle of balsamic vinegar for dipping, two plates of mandu, and a big box of cookies.

We got stopped at the entrance, because they thought we were sneaking in alcohol. The guy was incredulous when he realized we brought oil and vinegar for our bread.

Beautiful weather.

Turned out we actually bought tickets in the opponents' section, but it was still fun to cheer for both teams.

Alex got to keep the game ball, because Daniel worked with the Lotte Giants. Lucky bum.

All in all, a good weekend with great friends. I'm going to Osaka this Thursday to Sunday with Nikki, and I'm super excited.

Today: Go for jog, study Korean

Tomorrow: Book Club first meeting for novel: The Girl On The Train

Wednesday: Pack for trip, clean apartment